Guess I really kept you guys waiting? I apologize—life, projects, class, and…a new baby!!!! My beautiful niece, Bella was born! So, let’s jump right into it. In my last post, I was leading into, how do you have this knowledge and experience and still single?
I like to tell people (and it’s true), it’s easy to be in a relationship; it’s a choice. I can choose to be with anyone. By being selective (and leaving sex out the relationship), you can really get to know a person and their intentions. Is there a future, are we on a similar path, is there a purpose for this –ship (whatever ship it may be, friend or relation)—these are questions that can be discerned in the beginning and without sex. You really don’t have ask certain questions if you have a discerning spirit. Your discerning spirit can dismiss a lot of perpetrators and counterfeits. You can avoid pain from rejection and loss of time. You can use that time to spend with God. Devon asked, “Is sex the admission price for love?” You answer that question.
Well, that’s just you being too picky and having high standards. How are my standards too high when I have them based on a Godly man (by whom I define) and my intent isn’t to appease my flesh. For example, I’m a small, petite woman—I’m easily 115lb soaked. I actually need a strong suitable helper. Sure, I can take self-defense classes or buy a gun, but from what I believe, my mate should be my protector. If I’m going to pray for a punk, I might as well buy the glock. Seriously though, I need someone on or above my spiritual level so they can uplift me, even correct me when needed. Also, I don’t need to remind God that my man needs to look like Idris Elba or William Levy—God knows what type of mate you’ll be attracted too. I don’t think he’ll give you a Flavor Fave (NO SHADE, if Flavor is the type of guy for YOU) knowing that you will have wondering eyes…which leads us into temptation.
Your standards are not too high if they’re based on God’s best for you.
God is not a God of temptation. I believe (and hope), why would He send me or you an Idris, William, Nia, or Gabrielle to tempt your sexual nature? He’s not. If the physical attraction is going to be strong, He will deal with you on temptation before He even brings you that person. God will deal with most, if not all of your insecurities and challenging areas before you meet your person. I know this is true. For me, prime example: I’m a physical person, so when I met the most gorgeous man, I’d ever seen in my life last year, I was noodles in the pot. It was a strictly sexual flirtation and all kinds of –ations. I’ll have you know, the Lord gave me a dream, revealed to me the outcome of my relations with that man. Let’s just say, I got snatched up and backed off real quick.
The Lord really saved me from a lot of Tom, Dick, and Harry’s; in the case above some almond-y, green-eyed, 6’4 brawny, Italian (lol, seriously). If he was Boaz, he sure wasn’t leading me out of the field. Anyways, I would meet a really attractive (because, honestly, I’m a sight first gal) guy, and they end up being all talk and/or jump ship when it’s time to get intimate and you still haven’t given up the nuclear launch codes. Or, in other cases, you can’t identify a purpose with that person, or you both mutually part ways because nothing is there. And remember, if that person doesn’t respect your position on celibacy, they’re probably not your person. I’ve said it before, patience revels deception. Patience will also be honored. Why would God not reward you with the God (not good) thing when you’ve tried your best to uphold your word to Him? Call me foolish or naïve, but I know my wait and sacrifice will be rewarded.
Romans 12:2 TLB “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but be a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think. Then you will learn from your own experience how his ways will really satisfy you.“
I love Michele and Barack, Steph and Ayesha, even Denzel and Pam. Ever heard of #relationshipgoals? Society is teaching us today that people with seemingly long and/or appear to be healthy relationships are the model example. While all the people I mentioned are great and I love them– I celebrate them, I don’t want what they have and what they’ve built. I want my own thing, because I am good enough. Not necessarily the named couples here, but just because a person appears to be winning on the outside, doesn’t mean they’re whole on the inside (that! Apply to any situation). We have to be careful not to enter relationships based on our loneliness and co-dependencies on each other. No, I don’t want another half. My full is already weird enough and my wholeness can only come from God. I don’t need to meet someone with mutual dependencies I have, then we connect based on our bondage. I need a whole person that can identify my weakness and help turn that into a strength, and vice versa. I need someone where we understand our purposes and we work together to advance our purposes, and ultimately the Kingdom, together. If we do these things together, we have our own #relationshipgoals.
We need help in every area of our life. I hope this miniseries of waiting encourages you to wait and has given you THE WHY. Patience will be rewarded. If you have a strategy and your mind made up, you can resist temptation; it’s possible. I’m resisting. Close friends are resisting. Celebrities are resisting. My name here, is resisting. Celibacy is about resisting a choice that can create years of pain; to use the most powerful human interaction with someone purposefully and with whom is God’s best.
To close this series, I’m giving away FIVE of The Wait books. This book is powerful. It’s an affirmation that everything I’m living and writing and telling people is true. Even some of the same things I’ve been saying, is in the book! You can’t plagiarize KINGDOM.
Rules to entry:
- You must follow my blog (you’ll know you are following because you have to enter your email on the homepage, right panel + confirm through an email that will be sent).
- SHARE and COMMENT on one of the 4 #celibacy posts I’ve written. You can do this anonymously, if you like. (3 in The Wait series + 1 in November 2015)
- You must be following me on either of these social sites: Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter accounts.
- Share the giveaway post on social media and HASHTAG #bephenomenl. If you do not use this hashtag (and a public profile), I cannot verify you entered the giveaway. Also, #thewaitbook and let’s @devonfranklin and @meagangood to read my blog.
You must do all four steps. If you are already in compliance with #1 & 3, then you’ll only have 2 steps! 🙂
Four simple steps and a chance to win this awesome book, I believe…KNOW is certified truth. Giveaway will close 12:00 midnight on February 22, 2016. US residents only.