I’ve done myself the ultimate disservice—giving into doubt and fear based on what I was not seeing.  I’ve wasted so much time this year just waiting, existing, being unfulfilled and everything in between. I’ve been in a state of meaninglessness because I couldn’t see. Where’d that get me—absolutely nowhere.

Why did I feel this way? Because (seemingly) everyone around me was (seemingly and/or falsely) happy.

 Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important. Galatians 6: 2-3

What’s the problem?

1. Doubt and lack of faith and trust
2. Procrastination
3. Misalignment

I know I’ve written before about breaking out of this cycle, but I’m human and by my nature, I’m a skeptic and I don’t trust very easily nor do I receive very easily. I’m a planner; I’m a doer. So when I decided a few years ago that my plan was making me miserable, I made the choice to get on board with God’s plan. At some point in the teaching, I allowed this instaneousness of the world confuse the teaching, that this thing was going to take time—it was an investment.

Investment.

At a recent team meeting at my job, we met with our 401K provider and she was discussing the importance of retirement. Duh, at this point, we know that. BUT…BUT…BUT… She said something that hit me—there is no need for a 25 year old with no major obligations (such as a family) to not be an aggressive investor. Why? Because if we die at 80 and we’re only 25, we haven’t lived 30% of our lives yet. The markets turn and at minimum, you won’t see a double compound on your investment for at least 7 years based on historical trends. What am I getting at? MOST people are afraid to invest their money and almost as equally, time. I honestly wasn’t listening to her in the detail she wanted, but what I took away was:

“Charisse, you’re 28; you’re at least going to die, minimum at 93. You have time to get this process done right.  You’re doing what the Lord asked you. You are putting Him first, seeking your purpose, influencing others, impacting your community, strengthening the foundation of your relationship, still celibate and you don’t have any major responsibilities. Chill. Take the pressure OFF.”

Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And if worry can’t accomplish a little thing like that, what’s the use of worrying over bigger things? Luke 12:25-26

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6 

Pressure.

Why am I pressured? Why are we pressured? In my opinny, we continuously look at others around us and they are seemingly and superficially happy. If you’re in my age bracket, most of our friends are engaged, married, expecting, traveling, have great paying jobs and probably living a selfish and single (flesh consumed) lifestyle. In actuality and what has happened: engagements are called off after 5 months, marriages are ending at 6 months, and folks are clinically depressed. Like, legit, clinically depressed and suicidal. They hate their jobs and they have no idea what their purpose is. Most importantly, they don’t know who they are.

 Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct. Galatians 6:4-5

We’ve allowed social media and people’s “highlight” reel to dictate and govern our lives and skew the perception of reality. I have. I’ve gotten so consumed in a disguised cycle of lack, I couldn’t see what God was doing for me…or in me.  I was | | close to giving up on my journey: Him, celibacy and all.  But let me tell YOU…the Lord knew (he kneeeewwwwwww) what He was doing. He was protecting me from something that would have turned my life up-side-down. We can’t always (barely…hardly…ever) see what God is doing in the natural, but he is always protecting us—especially if we’ve made a covenant with him. He saw fit that what would’ve happened to me would’ve completely sent me off the course of purpose and prolonged it even more than I have. (If that would’ve happened, I would’ve been legit, Juvy 500 degreez.)

For I am God, and there is no other. I am God, and there is no one like Me.  I tell from the beginning what will happen in the end.  I tell of things which have not been done, saying, ‘My Word will stand. And I will do all that pleases Me.’ I call a strong and hungry bird from the east, the man from a far country who will do what I have planned. I have spoken, and I will make it happen. I have planned it, and I will do it. Listen to Me, you strong-willed people who are far from being right and good. I bring near what is right and good. It is not far away. And My saving power is ready now. I will save Zion, and will bring My great power to Israel. Isaiah 46:9-13

GLORAY!

No, everything does not happen for a reason (well, your decisions)

We prolong God’s best. We miss the mark, and by grace we can get back on track. No, I’m not calling you’re Instagram quotes a lie, but we’ve not been experiencing the fullness. Why? Because we are not aligned to His will. We are aligned to our own will and our own plans. (YES, you’re plans CAN work—I’ve had them, they were great. Not so great is feeling empty, meaningless and purposeless.) Most of the time, we allow our plans to supersede God’s because we simply do not trust His. If we have an avocado sized faith and a mustard seed of doubt, that doubt is going to turn into….some big ol’ seed. That big seed of doubt will turn into procrastination. That cycle of procrastination will turn into an unfulfilled life filled with poor, non-divine decision making.

We procrastinate what we’re afraid of. If we apply to every doubt the victory’s He’s done, fear of His will will not overtake our lives.

I don’t know much about investing, but from my understanding, you’re making a decision in something intangible to make a big return. I understand now, I can’t be a passive or conservative investor in this process because I can’t hold onto to it and pacify it. My dividends have to reach my seeds’ seed.  As we can see today, we need to invest rigorously into ourselves. We can do this by completely focusing on Him.

I almost lost my footing.  For I envied the proud when I saw them prosper despite their wickedness. They don’t have troubles like other people; they’re not plagued with problems like everyone else.  Did I keep my heart pure for nothing? Did I keep myself innocent for no reason? I get nothing but trouble all day long; every morning brings me pain. So I tried to understand why the wicked prosper. But what a difficult task it is! Then I went into your sanctuary and I finally understood the destiny of the wicked. Then I realized that my heart was bitter, and I was all torn up inside. I was so foolish and ignorant— I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you. Yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever. As for me, how good it is to be near God! I have made the Sovereign LORD my shelter, and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things you do.” Psalms 73

Aye, Be Phenomenl